


heartache on the big screen

by Anonymous



Category: ITZY (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Humor, I promise, It Gets Better, Light Angst, So is Felix, anw enjoy my skitzy crumbs, chan being best leader, hwang twins besties, hyunjin is an emotional mess, i hope lmao, idrk their name together lmao, jeongin knows a lot of girls, ryujin is oblivious, twice day6 and bts gets mentioned, were deprived of jypfam interactions, yall will probably get mad at the ending lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: If it's Ryujin that's asking, there's no way Hyunjin can say no. That's how it's always been with the two of them. They'd do anything for each other: that's their unspoken rule.orWhere Hyunjin explores his feelings, but too scared to admit it even when everyone else around him but one person knows it already.*rated for language
Kudos: 8
Collections: Anonymous





	heartache on the big screen

**Author's Note:**

> lol hi im back but i guess i'll rather do one shots or whatever you call this??? school started so i probably wont have as much time writing. anw i tried writing abt hyunjin, ryujin and felixs possible dynamic out of nowhere and this is the result lmao. pls dont associate the characters with the real people, this is for entertainment only! happy reading <333

_This ain't a movie that I wanna see_

_A tragic story, starring you and me_

_Yell "cut", we're stuck inside this scene_

_This is heartache on the big screen_

_The clock is ticking, and I'm out of time_

_The camera's rolling, and I forgot my lines_

_My script is ripped and now I see_

_This is heartache on the big screen_

* * *

* * *

"Yah, Hyunjin-ah! Felix oppa!" the older boy looked back only to see the dancers chasing up at him and Felix.

"What's it again, Ryujin-ah?"

"We're gonna bring Jisu unnie to our favorite bingsu stall, you guys want to come?"

If it's Ryujin that's asking, there's no way Hyunjin can say no. That's how it's always been with the two of them. They'd do anything for each other: that's their unspoken rule. (He still doesn't get why Ryujin uses formality on Felix and not him when he's a year older than her.)

So Hyunjin did what the younger asked her— come with them. Choi Jisu was a new trainee from SM Entertainment and Ryujin and Yeji offered to give her a tour around the company and establishments, dragging other trainees along the way. They were attention magnets, add in the famous Lee Chaeryeong, Jeon Somi and Shin Yuna, there's no wonder having Choi Jisu in their circle would give them even more fame among the trainees. There's no way she won't be upon hearing her mellifluous voice when they did their little tradition. Choi Jisu was kind despite the burst of attention given to her, just like the other girls. Barely a day spent and they don't feel any type of uneasiness around the new girl, welcomed her warmly as she replied with sweet smiles and soft hugs.

He admits it: Choi Jisu is pretty. She was so pretty, Felix said it out loud after he introduced himself. He can't believe she was his noona and hoobae at the same time. All the other trainees followed, Hyunjin nodding in agreement to every compliment they give and the newcomer blushing from their words.

"Jisu unnie is so pretty. Look at her eye smile."

He didn't expect Jisu to actually have such a beautiful eye smile. She already has one even when she wasn't smiling, it was evident that she's genuinely happy. He was busy admiring Ryujin's to notice it at all.

"Yeah, it's cute."

What he didn't expect were the words that came from Ryujin.

"Should I date her?"

Hyunjin was suddenly dumbfounded.

"If I was a boy, I'd definitely date her. Well, there's nothing wrong with two girls dating anyway. Should I date her?"

He almost choked on his coffee-flavoured milk.

"You're seriously thinking of _dating_ her over an _eye smile_?"

"I mean, who wouldn't? Why, wouldn't you?"

"I have more in me than you think, Ryujin-ah." If Hyunjin's hair was longer, he'd definitely flip it.

So they ate. They talked. They informed Choi Jisu about everything she must need to know (it somehow included not to be deceived by a fellow trainee named _Yang Jeongin_ , something about not as innocent as he looks). They gave her an overview of the other trainees and the instructors. Choi Jisu revealed that she was told she has potential to be included as a main vocalist in the lineup of a new girl group the company was thinking about, but still no words about debuting it. They all believed it was true when Yuna asked the older girl to sing one of their Red Velvet sunbaenim's song— her voice were as sweet and smooth as honey. They can't wait to train with her.

* * *

Stray Kids had a bumpy start, but they were now prospering. They're incredibly grateful. They've been busy doing this and that here and there since the start of the year. They haven't been able to hang out with their other friends, and when they see each other within the company, it's only composed of small talk. They're grateful to see them, nonetheless. It felt selfish for them to ask for more.

Sometimes, Hyunjin's thoughts gets preoccupied by something. Someone.

_What are the others doing right now? Are they doing fine? Are they still passionate and enjoying what they're doing? Are they improving and getting better a lot? Are they getting attention? Are they getting treated the way they should be? Are they included in new lineups here and there? What groups will they be in? When will they debut? When will_ she _debut?_

"Hyung, you look lost in your own thoughts."

Hyunjin snapped back into reality when his roommate called him out.

"You know, Yeji noona called me. Somi left the company and Yuna was included in the final lineup."

"You and Yeji talk?" He was more focused on the first half than the latter.

"It's not my fault you don't have your twin's number. I have her number if you want."

"Innie-yah, she's not my twin," Hyunjin laughed. "Best of luck to Somi's journey though, I hope she finds what suits her liking and I'm glad if they'll get to debut with each other."

Even when he knew it was a joke, he can't help but dismiss it every time. Sure, they're quite close and actually act somehow like siblings, but _they seriously aren't_. It's been a joke going around that they were twins but hated each other so much that they pretend they aren't. Because how can you not say they're not? Same last name, same birth year (and two months apart at that), same sharp eyes and same incredible dancing talents. How are they _not_ related?

"What about the others?" He asked, hoping to get something, even the smallest information out of him about _her_.

"Ah, noona said Ryujin got sick. Something about her and Jeongyeon noona fighting, I guess?" He suddenly turned his head to the younger. If only he wasn't an idol now, he would've rushed to their dorm.

"Did she say anything else?"

"Nah, apparently only Yuna knows the whole story since she was with them when it happened and even she was shaken up, but better than Ryujin."

Hyunjin fiddled on the hem of his sweatshirt.

"I have her number if you want."

"Why do you have so many girls' numbers on your phone?"

But Hyunjin didn't make it the focal point of their conversation— he indeed took Yuna's personal number as he only had her SNS. (He took some of the other girls' numbers while he was at it.)

It didn't take long for him to press send on the message that was saying it's Hwang Jinnie, Yuna immediately picked it up on the first ring of his call.

"Yuna-yah, are you doing fine?"

_"Yes oppa, why'd you call me?"_

Hyunjin felt some type of happy inside of him when the younger didn't ask how he got her number. In between trainings or whenever they meet at the cafeteria, Yuna often scowls at her phone when she receives random messages and follow requests from people she's only met once or a couple of times. He guessed they must've built a pretty good relationship and decent amount of trust with each other from the little interactions they've made.

"I heard you and Ryujin were feeling unwell? Are you sure you're fine?"

Yuna chuckled. She was indeed fine, but the girl lying on her bed was literally hot and not. Of course, Hyunjin meant well, — he always does— but she also knew well and him well enough that he mostly wants to know about the girl who crashed in her dorm.

_"I seriously am, not Ryujin unnie though. She has a high fever and she insists on going home. Seungyeon unnie dropped by here multiple times already to give some stuff from their parents since they're pretty close to her too, Seoyeon unnie even stayed here for one night just to watch over her."_

"What happened? Jeongin heard from Yeji that there was a fight?"

_"Yeah, that."_ Yuna took a heavy sigh before walking out the room to tell Hyunjin what happened. _"She found out something about Jeongyeon unnie and Yoongi sunbaenim. Nothing romantic, for the sake of it."_

"What?"

_"Trust me, I had the same reaction when I heard those two names together."_ Yuna started with a laugh. " _But Ryujin unnie has worked with them before so I wouldn't really be shocked that she somehow got in between them. It was mainly something about a bet, that I could say."_

_"I won't say what happened between them since it's not my place to do so, but it was silently messy. Ryujin was justifying Yoongi sunbaenim's side more and Jeongyeon unnie didn't like it. It was very, very mentally and emotionally draining even if I was only watching. I actually feel like I somehow violated their privacy just for existing in that period of time."_

Hyunjin never had any experience like that for himself, so he can't possibly put himself in their shoes for that situation. He just thought that Ryujin must have had a really valid and strong point for her to go against Jeongyeon who was one of her role models, who she treated like her actual sister and loved her like one too.

_"Being an idol must suck, no? Sure, you get to do what you love and inspire other people to be the better version of themselves. But how are we supposed to do the same if every decision we make gets criticized? I'm not even an idol yet, but we've seen how it is from the others. You have to keep up with the pressure or else you'd be crushed. I'm still young and fragile, wonder what will happen to me then?"_

A tear fell. Unknowingly. It just escaped. Hearing that from the young girl's mouth with her hitched breath and shaky voice, he shoudn't have wondered why he was tearing up. Yuna may have ended her sentence with a laugh, it still sent shivers down Hyunjin's spine. Her last words hit him like a truck. It was a good decision to face away from Jeongin when he made the call. He found himself barely breathing, and took out a huge amount of air to calm himself. It was a lot of information for him to take at one go— one moment he was dissing Jeongin for having too many girls on his contacts and now he's hearing about the agonizing truth of being an idol from a young trainee.

_"But hey, I still don't know since I haven't been in the spotlight and you definitely have more life experience, so you tell me, oppa,"_ Yuna spoke lightheartedly once again, making Hyunjin smile. _"Yuna-yah, where are you?"_

"Thanks for answering the call, Yuna. You know can always call me if you need someone to listen to you. You should probably attend to Ryujin for now."

_"Wait Hyunjin-ah, don't hang up!"_

If it was a face-to-face conversation or even video call, Yuna would have laughed her ass off once he sees Hyunjin's perplexed reaction. It was no secret Yuna often had her slip-ups with her formality since she basically grew up with them and felt as if they were the same age, but Hyunjin didn't expect to be one of her victims. He just wasn't used to the younger ones being informal to him at all. (Yeji and Ryujin excluded.)

_"Ah, sorry, Hyunjin oppa. Here's Ryujin unnie, talk some sense to her. Ryujinnie, take this."_

His dramatically shocked reaction turned into real shock, eyes widened and cleared his throat when he heard Ryujin's probably-just-woken-up voice on the other line.

"Ryujin-ah?"

_"Oh, Hyunjinni_ e." It was evident from her voice that she was also shocked. _"I was curious who Yuna was talking to earlier, you definitely weren't one of those on the top list."_

"Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be, I just got Yuna's number from Jeongin. " Hyunjin closed one of his eyes tightly and tilted his head to the side before gathering the courage to ask about the girl. "How are you doing?"

_"Pretty fine, I guess."_

"Yah, you cannot just say 'guess' when everyone around you knows full well what's going on with you."

_"If you know the answer already, then why even ask?"_

Silence.

It was the first time she lashed out on Hyunjin. It was the first time he saw her lash out.

Silence.

"Yeah, sorry. Just checking up on the both of you. Glad to hear you're doing well."

_"Shoot, no, sorry, don't ha—"_

He was sure somewhere along that sentence, his voice cracked. Hyunjin was sensitive, everyone knows that. Especially her, he only showed his sensitive side during his trainee days the most to Chan, Seungmin, Yeji, and Ryujin, but she still lashed out on him. He was shocked.

He heard an abrupt sigh on the other side of the call before pressing the red button and putting his phone on airplane mode. He went straight to the shower and didn't even look back at Jeongin who was asking how the call went. He just made sure to think of anything else but that tone Ryujin used on him. Luckily, his mind was too tired that he fell asleep easily when he wanted to.

Ryujin didn't mean to lash out, of course. She was getting irritated by people asking the obvious. Of course she isn't well— she literally got really sick because she fought with her sister and her brother and hasn't been able to attend training nor school for a week. She knew they probably had no ill-intent, she was just getting questions more than she wanted to.

So when, Yuna said she had someone on the phone for her, she rolled her eyes as she knew she'll get that question again. She was shocked that it was Hyunjin on the other side, they barely had any time to interact with the boys ever since they debuted. Jeongin was the one who would usually text them from time to time to check on them, and they weren't that close with the non-2000 liners so they didn't really bother thinking they would do the same. _(Except Chaeryeong and Chan, they're practically siblings.)_

She knew it was very insensitive of her to respond to him like that, concern was filling his voice as he asked the question and she exploded. She tried to call him again, both on Yuna and her phone, but the phone was out of coverage. She left several messages instead, hoping he would see.

She regrets it.

* * *

A couple months after, ITZY finally debuted. _Ryujin_ finally debuted. Chaeryoung _finally_ debuted. Yeji finally debuted. Yuna finally debuted. Lia finally debuted. They finally debuted.

But they still weren't in good terms.

Felix knows well how much Hyunjin tried to avoid crossing paths with Ryujin ever since their group was announced, since meeting each other in the company building was unavoidable. He had to be the one to return Ryujin's greetings and answer her questions. A ride in the elevator between the two of them was his worst experience by far.

_It was like predebut Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin all over again._

But he got fed up with them.

It's been more than eight months since they started avoiding each other, he doesn't want to make it nine. Hyunjin was his brother and Ryujin was his close friend, he felt like he should be the bridge to reconnect them. He knew how sensitive Hyunjin was, that's why he cannot believe he was able to put up for so long.

Both groups were preparing for their comebacks, one month apart from each other. Stray Kids were going over some finishing touches while Itzy was starting the choreography. When Felix saw how the heavens parted the clouds in order to cast sunshine upon an opportunity, he gladly took advantage of it.

"Hyunjin-ah, I forgot something at Channie hyung's studio. Go on without me." He patted his pockets pretending to look for something before patting the guy's shoulder and ran out of the elevator. "Hi, Ryujin-ssi."

"Oh, Felix, hi." Ryujin returned the bow and went inside the elevator, did not see who it was inside.

Hyunjin bit the inside of his cheek when he realized what Felix just did, Ryujin got shocked as well and reminded herself to scold Felix when she sees him alone. Ryujin just bowed to him and he returned it.

"It's been long." Her voice was small yet low, almost prone to cracking.

"Yeah." Hyunjin looked up, _hellevator_ rides have never felt this long.

"How have you been?" Ryujin lifted her head up a bit.

"Pretty good. You guys preparing for your comeback?"

"Yeah, the choreo's way harder than our first but it's nothing we can't do." Ryujin widened her eyes at herself and Hyunjin saw her reflection, side of his mouth curving up.

"You guys are just starting, it'll get harder as time goes by." Hyunjin was shocked when Ryujin suddenly stood against the side of the elevator.

"Can we please drop the shit already? It's been so long since I've last talked like this to my best friend. Talked, even." When their eyes met, they knew there was no turning back.

"Look, it has become what, eight months since we last talked to each other? I barely even see you despite being in the same company as you and when I do you always give me a cold shoulder and make whoever you're with do the talking."

"I know what I did back then was insensitve and unnecessary and trust me, I regretted it right away. But how were you supposed to forgive me when you weren't even trying to hear it? Hyunjin-ah, we know each other too well for this to get between us. Can we please have what we had back?"

Hyunjin had to take a step back when he realized how close the were. Ryujin did not hesitate to take another two closer but before she got an answer out of him, the elevator opened and revealed a dumbfounded Jisung and Seungmin who happened to pass by. _(Felix definitely had nothing to do with it. Nothing.)_

Hyunjin awkwardly stepped out and cleared his throat before walking past his members. Jisung created gestures which Ryujin caught up and understood, so she replied to them before the elevator closed. They both took off giving each other a smile and a nod and as the doors closed, she was left once again in isolation.

———

_("Jisung taught me something," Ryujin looked up at Hyunjin as they overlooked the sky from Yeji's dorm balcony. "I'm not really a firm believer of things like this, but there's nothing wrong with trying it."_

_"Wish for something, then look for bright stars that form an 8. Do it for seven consecutive days and on the eighth, they said your wish will come true."_

_"Looking for one that forms an 8 seems kinda tricky," Ryujin squinted her eyes, a mannerism she made when she thinks something is off. "Have you tried it?"_

_Hyunjin shook his head. "Let's try it."_

_"Together?"_

_"Only if you want to."_

_"Sure."_

_"Then let's try to meet each other on the eighth?"_

_"Let's try to meet each other on the eighth." Hyunjin agreed. "You still have to treat me Samanco anyway.")_

"Try to meet each other on the eight, my ass." Ryujin groaned as she remembered something from a few years ago. "Ah, such a fool."

———

"Hyunjin-ah, you still haven't sorted it out with Ryujin?" Felix stood by the door with his hands on his hips as he welcomed the main dancer to the practice room.

"Yah!"

Hyunjin then tackled him down to the couch at the opposite end of the room. They all got alarmed because of the tone of voice he used, thinking he might hurt him physically but stopped when he suddenly lied down and buried himself on Felix's chest.

"Is it about her again?" Changbin asked. Hyunjin further buried himself and Felix patted his back.

"Hyung, she's been reaching out to you for so long already, you're the only one who hasn't."

"Jisu mentioned to me that Ryujin has been slightly different for too long, you seriously have to fix this."

"Seungmin's right. Even Sana noona told me about it."

"How am I even supposed to? What do I say? How do I act? When do I do? It's been too long." Hyunjin flailed his legs around as he hugged Felix even tighter. (He wasn't complaining though.)

"Just say whatever you want. Fix it. You guys are not wasting years of friendship when we know you feel more for her." When Chan said his last words, Hyunjin immediately sprung up and sat down to deny his words.

"What ' _more_ ' are you talking about?" He buried his face back to Felix when he realized his sudden action made him look more gulity.

"See Hwang Hyunjin, you're dumb. I'm gonna ask Chaeryeong for help and Lix, talk some sense into Ryujin on how dumb Hyunjin is. Make sure she keeps on remembering." Minho pulled Hyunjin up when their dance coach came to the room. Seems like the boys have a plan to do.

So while having their water breaks, they planned on how are they supposed to make it look 'natural'. Hyunjin was more worried about what he should say, they just told him to wing it. They planned on how they should meet, Hyunjin asked how to start the conversation and they told him to just wing it. They're literally planning everything but the one thing Hyunjin badly needs help. When they finished for the afternoon, Felix went to the cafeteria alone knowing full well the lot of people that will be there.

"Ryujin-ah!" Felix looked up from his phone when he saw Ryujin passing by. She was with Chaeryeong who decided to leave her member to check why the other girls hasn't come down yet.

"Felix oppa, hello." Ryujin bowed and he did the same, offering the empty seat on his table.

"You know you can drop the formalities, it's just me." If a smile could blind someone for being so bright, Ryujin would be blind by now. "Hyunjin?"

"Still nothing. I cornered him already but the elevator decided to be a bitch."

"Yeah, I heard from Jisung and Seungmin about the corner thing." Ryujin's ears turned red which made Felix chuckle. "But hey, two steps forward and one step backward is still one step forward. You know how Hyunjin is."

"I know him well, but at the same time I feel like I don't. He's literally my closest male friend — no offense— and with him being distant for way too long, I don't even know if he still considers me as his friend." Ryujin buried her face in her hands and Felix being the cuddlebug he is, wrapped his arms around the girl.

"I know you've been making a ton of adjustments just for him, can you still hold out for a bit?"

"I held out for more than half a year already, you think I won't be?"

"Then please do. Hyunjin's being Hyunjin. It's very him yet it's not. Always keep in mind that his feelings are valid too. Who knows? Maybe this will bring you guys closer together."

Ryujin removed her hands on her face and returned Felix's warm embrace, her head perfectly fitting the nook of his shoulders. It was no secret the two are pretty close with each other. It was no secret Felix was a very affectionate person. It was no secret Ryujin wasn't very fond of it. (But she likes it anyway when she receives it, just never initiating.) But when Hyunjin witnessed what just happened, he can't help but feel betrayed by two of the most important people in his life. It wasn't it.

So instead of moving according to plan, Hyunjin took a turn as he knew that the conversation that just took place wasn't a part of it. He was mad, but he wasn't. He was sad, but he wasn't either. He just felt empty. He didn't answer when Chan asked him where he was going. He somehow became stronger when he forcibly removed Changbin's grip on him. He didn't answer when Jisung asked him if something happened. He heard clearly when Seungmin told him not to do something that he will once again regret, but he felt too empty to comply. 

When Jeongyeon saw both of the things that just occured, she didn't even hesitate to tap the younger out of Felix's nook. So she stood up and absentmindedly chased the other guy. Seungmin gave her directions and she bowed as she walked past them, Felix giving the boys an explanation that was probably the reason for Hyunjin's sudden behavior. His hands were shaking and he had to check his pulse after a few seconds or so, Chan wrapping the younger boy around his arms while telling him he did nothing bad and that it's gonna be okay.

"Yah, Hyunjin-ah!"

Thankfully, the practice room Stray Kids were using wasn't too far. Minho and Jeongin were still going over some of Jeongin's parts, but they left the room immediately when they heard Ryujin's voice.

"Hey, please talk to me."

"You seem to be fine with Felix already. Go back to him, he might wonder where you went off."

"I am talking to him because you're not fine with me!"

"How am I supposed to be when you already look fine even without me?"

"Do I seem not desperate enough from all the times I tried to reach out to you? Because for fuck's sake Hyunjin, I kept on looking like a fool as you continuously ignored me and all my attempts!"

He tried to look down, but there was no escaping Ryujin's eyes.

"Do you remember that night at Yeji unnie's? We did eight stars for seven days. I asked for us to try to meet at the eighth, but we never did. Do you know what I wished for?"

Of course he remembered. It was then when he _realized_.

"I wished for everything to remain the same and better, if possible. It did, and I was happy. I was scared because I knew it will come back to me eventually but I didn't know in what way. Shit happened and it triggered another. I lost someone I treated as my sister at that time, I lost my best friend, I almost lost my dream because I felt too sick to even live. My fucking dream that I trained so fucking hard to get. I got it still, I got my sister back too but I still lost you that time, _I lost you for too long already._ "

He already knew the next words that were coming, but his eyes still betrayed him.

"I know that the call that night wasn't the sole reason you've been acting like this. You're probably hurting but please remember that people around you gets hurt to when seeing you like that. Your feelings are valid, that's why I keep on understanding you. But it keeps on affecting the people around you too, Hyunjin. Please at least tell me why or if you can't put it into words, make me feel it. I miss you too much, Jinnie."

Ryujin's eyes and voice betrayed her too once he saw the other in tears. Hyunjin fell down the corner and cried his eyes out, Ryujin sat beside him and cried along.

"It's probably a hormonal teenager going through a lot of things right now kind of thing, Jin. " Hyunjin said in the most quiet voice he's ever used in his life with a bitter laugh. "A lot of tough shit went on after that night that I never really got the chance to reconcile with you. I tried a lot, trust me, but I'm still pretty much a coward to face you after ignoring you for too long. I'm truly sorry that I hurt you unintentionally. I just thought you'd be better off without me sharing my burdens with you."

"Jinnie, that's what friends are supposed to do. We're supposed to help each other out. I understand if you don’t want me to know some things, but you don’t have to completely close your door at me, at us," Ryujin took his hands away from fidgeting on the hem of his shirt. "Promise me you won't ever leave me out again. Let this be our last big fight."

"Sorry."

Hyunjin broke down harder and Ryujin wrapped her arms around the him. It hurt her seeing him like that. She just did what she always did— understand. She's sure Hyunjin's probably going through something really hard right now and that he needs to let it out as much as he can. That's what she's doing. Everyone in the company already knows a certain issue circulating around. She didn't want to shove their conflict down Hyunjin's throat to add more problems for him, she wants him to know she's always there for him. That they're always there for him. That he can lean on their shoulders and cry on it.

"Calm down, okay? Deep breaths. We still have comebacks to prepare for, so let's do our best?" Ryujin gave Hyunjin's hand a reassuring squeeze before ruffling his hair and planted a long, soft kiss on the crown of his head.

"Stay."

So they did. One arm enveloping Hyunjin's body and the other holding his hands. Head on top of Ryujin's shoulder as both of their backs pressed against the wall.

Felix peeked a little to check on the situation and found himself with a bittersweet smile as he looked away. He's glad they finally settled it out. As long as his best friends are happy, he is too. He's their _sunshine boy_ , after all.

It took them a few more minutes before going out of the practice room. Both groups sat across the corridor, waiting for the two to finish. Ryujin came out first and the girls bid their goodbyes before going to their training room. The boys waited for another minute before going in.

"Jin, if something I did earlier made you mad I'm genuinely sor—"

"It's okay, Lix. You were doing something a good friend would do." Felix threw himself at Hyunjin and the latter hugged him warmly.

"We're always here for you, okay? We're your brothers and you know the people you can trust. Don't keep everything to yourself, you can always count on us." Chan ran his hand down Hyunjin's hair.

All he knows is that he is indeed lucky to have these people around him.

* * *

"Unnie..."

Ryujin's voice was almost crying as she tried to solve an equation while preparing for their finals. She still had her school life going on and is about to graduate, so she thought she should give it her best shot. Being an idol and a student at the same time is hard, they may be focusing on their majors more but that doesn't mean they escaped the grasp of maths. Ryujin knows that so well right now.

She was currently sitting in the cafeteria with Jeongyeon, who keeps on insisting because she cannot remember any maths from her high school years. Chaeryeong was also studying on another table as an agreement they made. They'll end up doing nothing if they were put on the same table.

"I'm telling you, I'm also dead meat at these. Go ask Changbin or Nayeon unnie instead, they're probably better at that. Even better if you see Brian somewhere around, that guy's good."

Jeongyeon just patted the younger's head with a grin before leaving her alone. Ryujin looked over at Chaeryeong to give her a signal, only for her to mirror Ryujin's face of horror. Lia snapped Chaeryeong back when she saw her drifting away.

"Ooh, numbers with letters." Hyunjin slid down the chair Jeongyeon was sitting on.

"Help. Me. I. Am. Dying." Ryujin did not blink once.

"What's that about?"

"Physics."

"I'm no good."

All heads in the cafeteria turned to their table as Ryujin's head fell down the table heavily. She looked up and smiled embarrassingly.

"All I know is I passed and I graduated. That's all that matters. I can barely remember anything else."

"You graduated literally less than a year ago?"

"A lot can happen in a few months, Ryujin-ah."

Ryujin groaned and gave in to her sunbae's suggestion. She wanted to do it herself, but how can she when she can't understand a thing? Nayeon probably isn't be around as Jeongyeon just left to continue their schedule, and seeing Hyunjin slacking in front of her, she thought that maybe Changbin was free too.

"Is Changbin oppa free? Unnie said he's probably my only hope."

"Nah, producer things." Hyunjin took out his lollipop with a loud pop, to which Ryujin made a face. "Lix is free though. Jeongin is also struggling and Seungmin is teaching him."

"Minho oppa?"

"With Channie hyung, said they needed him to match choreo. I'll snatch Felix for you, wait a sec."

Ryujin thought he was going to walk away and drag the other guy to the cafeteria, but he just shouted out loud instead attracting the attention to their table once again, putting his lollipop back in when Felix popped his head out the practice room.

"Hyung, you're seriously too loud."

Felix covered Hyunjin's mouth then smiled at Ryujin evidently fake, only removing his hand when Hyunjin licked it. He then smacked the older boy and wiped his hand on Hyunjin's jacket.

"Ryujin needs help with physics. You had normal subjects back in Australia, you know what to do." Hyunjin pointed his lollipop at Ryujin's notes.

"I left three years ago so I barely remember anything?" Felix knitted his brows together and relaxed it once again when he saw the formulas on her card. "Oh, is this projectile motion? I was pretty bad at physics overall but my friend helped me out and it's actually fun solving these when you know what your doing and your answer is right."

"If you know what you're doing then your answer is most likely right?" It was Ryujin's turn to furrow her brows.

"Keyword _most likely_ , Ryujinie. Most likely."

Felix looked at Ryujin's cards once again before examining her solution sheet. When he saw where she went wrong, he started tapping the calculator a bit too loudly and the two Jins looked at him in confusion. Felix felt the stares so he started explaining the equation piece by piece. Hyunjin started to remember and let out a few gasps and comments in between while Ryujin still had her brows knitted, slowly loosening as they got near the final answer.

"3 years my ass, you remember it correctly." Hyunjin said as he tried to solve the next problem on his own.

"It all comes back when you see it, I miss school life."

"School life isn't as fun when you are an idol." Ryujin looked back and forth from Felix's paper, hers, and Hyunjin who's solving the next one. "Seriously, I'll say I'm sick and please stand in for my finals."

"It doesn't work that way, Ryujin-ah." Felix chuckled and patted Ryujin's head as she pouted, Hyunjin immediately looked up and cleared his throat as he showed his finished answer.

"You're really answering this and then not explain it to me?"

So that's what they all did. Hyunjin presented to try to solve it along with Ryujin and Felix was the one who checked their answers. Chaeryeong was about to throw hands at Ryujin because all she had was Lia who was getting impatient. Luckily, Felix was kind enough and helped her out too while Lia judged.

Ryujin realized Felix's words on how it's fun when you know what to do and that you are doing it right. Hyunjin felt the same too. That's when he thought — he's gonna try. They finished the workload Ryujin was whining for half an hour in fifteen minutes.

"Felix is an angel." Ryujin said when she finished fixing all her cards and papers.

"He is." Hyunjin looked at Felix who was now on his way to Chan's studio to help Minho with the choreo.

"I'd date him if we weren't friends."

It was déjà vu for Hyunjin.

"You'd what if you weren't what?"

"Well, idol life aside, I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. And probably just like a fling, nothing serious. He's kind and cute, everything you want for someone."

"Your list is _just_ kind and cute?"

"Shut up, don't judge. I know you'd date Felix too if you could." He just shrugged his shoulders. This type of conversations became normal to them by now. "What about you? Who here would you date?"

"Who would I what now?"

"Not limited to the ones in the cafe, but only those here in JYP. Choose your best pick."

"Hmm, I'd pick you." He saw the chance and took it.

"Ooh, that was fast. Why?"

"I don't know. You sort of have that aura around you that draws people in without you even trying. I guess you're kind and cute too? You know how to fix and sort your things, something I'd need help with. You rarely show any affection which you probably crave for deep down and I can give that. We'd probably make a good partner for each other. "

"Damn, if I didn't know you that would've seemed like a confession."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. He knew she was oblivious, but was she really this _oblivious_?

"Yeah, _damn_."

"Oh, I know."

With the tone she just used, he knew dumb shit is about to happen once again.

"Marriage pact by 35, unless we're still in public spotlight."

Hyunjin widened his eyes and sat up straight on his chair.

"Shin Ryujin, what sort of fanfiction shit are you on?"

"I've actually never seen someone married because they had no hope in romance, it'll be a fun backup!"

"You're telling me I'm _just a backup_ to you?"

"I'm going to be a backup for you too, it goes both ways!"

"If we weren't at the company, I'd think you're drunk."

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Yah!" Hyunjin widened then rolled his eyes at her comment. "Whatever, I doubt it'll happen anyway."

"You can never be sure, Hwang Hyunjin. Maybe our luck in love will run out in the future. You have to seal the deal early in the game."

"Do you not listen to our songs? Everyone has their own pace, dumbo."

* * *

"Weak, that's all Ryujin is. Weak. Fucking weak bitch." Yeji mumbled repeatedly as she tried to lift Ryujin off the ground.

As the '01 liners officially turned legal, they thought it would be nice to set up a bouncy castle at Jeongin's backyard (to which his parents surprisingly allowed only because they won't be home) and jump the night away. No, they did not pass out of exhaustion while jumping. They decided to have a game of tag inside it and they all grew tired, somehow fell asleep while the others where bouncing up and down. Now all they have is a dead Changbin, a dead Chaeryeong, a dead Ryujin and a half-dead Jeongin.

"All men do is lie. Hyunjin-ah, you proposed this with Jisung and Felix. Help me lift this dead bitch off the ground." Yeji turned to Hyunjin who was watching Jeongin who was also struggling to keep himself awake by trying to get Chaeryeong and Changbin out of the castle.

"Jeongin can do both, why can't you?" Hyunjin regretted it as soon as Yeji dropped Ryujin's upper body just to kick him.

"Men always disappoint. I shouldn't have trusted you." Hyunjin laughed at Yeji's words since she had to keep the dare she landed on. _(She had to speak about everything with extreme feelings, and her idea of that is_ cursing _.)_

"Okay, I'll bring her. Call Channie hyung or Minho hyung for help with those three. They wouldn't hold out."

Hyunjin effortlessly carried Ryujin bridal style, but immediately broke down because both of them knows how much he tried to avoid weights. Yeji shook her head and helped him adjust Ryujin to a piggy back.

"Jeongin's brother said we could also use his room and bed but not touch anything else. I'd have them place Changbin oppa there, put this weakling on Innie's room instead. Chaeryeong will be decide for herself since she seems to be back to life."

Yeji put her hand warmers inside Ryujin's shirt and on Hyunjin's shirt pocket, to which he got a little taken a back. He swiftly moved his way to Jeongin's room and placed Ryujin on his bed. He fixed her hair away from her face and started to remove her makeup using Jeongin's wipes. As he traced every inch of Ryujin's face, he can't help but feel butterflies on his stomach.

"Fuck, why do I have to be like this?"

He gave in and started speaking his thoughts, hoping the sleeping girl would hear him and also not at the same time.

"You are too oblivious, Shin Ryujin. Ever since predebut, not even once did you notice. _Too oblivious_."

He sighed as he started doing his night time routine on Ryujin's face using Jeongin's things.

"Infinity stars? You were my wish. But of course, I had to mess up later on. It just messed with my feelings more. Then it got better. It got too better and you were even more oblivious."

He slapped a thick coat of frozen aloe gel on her face before massaging it. Luckily, she was too tired to even feel it.

"It's like I'm the sea and you're the moon. You keep on pulling me closer to you. Are you aware you have that effect on people?"

He then used a jade roller he hoped was clean.

"I like you, I just never admitted it out loud. Are you well aware almost everyone else around us but you knows that? Oblivious bitch."

Hyunjin smiled at himself as he remembered a song lyric that both had the words oblivious and sea. He hoped they won't be that sea.

"Ah, what do I do? I'm too weak to even confess when you're conscious. You know what, I like you, I like you, I like you. Can only say this now cause you're asleep. Or at least I hope so. You aren't pretending right? I'll definitely kill you if you are."

He got startled and fell on his seat (he was already sitting on the floor) when Ryujin shifted. He pretended not to be looking at her when she suddenly hummed.

"You need anything?" Hyunjin asked.

"Lix?"

_Oh._

"Stay here for a sec."

_Oh._

_So that's how it is._

"It's Hyunjin."

"Even better."

_Oh._

_What?_

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts and kudos are very much appreciated!!!


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